What is wrong with DHL (and DHL Express)

What is wrong with DHL (and DHL Express)

The last two days my frustration with DHL grew. Let me share with you why. The German Post has acquired DHL and while most of the world thinks of DHL as DHL Express there are two kind of DHL. DHL Express for express delivery and DHL for normal/slow shipping.

DHL Express:

  • It is a very unresponsive company. They have two kind of customer numbers. You need the national number to receive international orders and send national orders and the international one to send international orders. We have asked at least six times to get an international number and it appears that they couldn’t care less.
  • I once ordered a DHL Express pickup and paid the driver in cash, for some reason the price was a lot higher than advertised online. The explanation was that the price I paid included VAT. I have used the phone, email, snail mail and fax to ask for an invoice so I can get the VAT refund as a company. To this date I have not received it.
  • One can buy a DHL Express label online, this requires one to pick the country to ship from. The German webpage is lacking the German translation for months and they don’t bother to fix it.

DHL:

  • The good thing about DHL is the concept of pack stations. I can buy shipping coupons online and then use them as I need to ship a package of the class and print the label. I can post the package without queuing at a machine called packstation.
  • DHL allows to upload CSV files for the destination address, one can even embed the coupons but there are various stupid things. It is using Latin1 as encoding. If one attempts to put an address in Chinese funny things will happen. The street name length limit is way too low for various countries (e.g. for the Philippines). The other part is that one can not specify everything one needs to specify for international orders.
  • When ordering a shipping label online one can enter a phone number for the receiver, e.g. if one decides to use the local number (e.g. 022323424) DHL decides to prefix this with 0049 and remove the leading zero. How likely is it that if I ship to the Philippines that the number of the receiver is a German number?
  • Entering Chinese characters as destination address is working but when attempting to print the shipping label one gets empty boxes instead of Chinese characters. They have chosen to use a custom font that doesn’t have glyphs outside of latin1.
  • The DHL packstation runs very basic software, it has a touchscreen, barcode scanner and can open doors. In summer one can hear the fan spinning so heavily. What a waste of resources.
  • The software is a joke. One can post several packages and afterwards one can print proofs that the items were posted. This machine asks for each receipt to be printed individually but doesn’t indicate which package it belongs. Sure I want you to print receipt 20, and no I really don’t want to be asked if you should print _all_ receipts. The other nice thing is that printing can fail because the machine is out of paper and then just exits without giving you any proof.
PayPal must die

PayPal must die

This is another rant, today about PayPal. It all started when I tried to buy some credit for the skype callout feature. The overlords at PayPal decided that besides the Post Ident I did to open my account, the verified bank account that is stored in my data I will now need to enter my German Identity Card number. Too bad that the number they have stored is from a card that expired maybe five years ago.

How comes they think the Number is secret after hotels, car rentals, dvd rentals, airlines, …, started making photo copies of these documents? But to make it worse they have implemented this ‘security check’ in a way that prevents me of using the normal contact form.

So I took it up with the support, and they proposed me to reset my password, they kept on proposing to reset my password. They offered me to call me, I gave them my hotel + room number but they were not able to figure out the prefix for dialing to China. After three more support emails and proposals to reset my password I know have the instruction to close my account and transfer my balance to my reference account. All they want is my first born though.

I was a bit lazy and have not collected the information they need yet, today I wanted to buy something online, the company is using PayPal Express Checkout, and I am not allowed to pay with my VISA card as Paypal knows some combination of my name and forces me to log into my paypal account (which of course does not work).

Please, someone, fix this payment mess.

bahn.de and broken web services

bahn.de and broken web services

Once more I need to buy stuff online, now I wanted to buy a train ticket online as I am afraid the discounted price will be gone once I am at the trainstation…

The payment option I want to use is only available when you are registered, so I registered, using a ‘+’ in my email address and then it didn’t work. I assumed like many shitty websites they believe a ‘+’ is not a valid sign in an email.. in this case my account name was taken. Then they tell me that under “My Train” I can register my bank details, well they don’t provide a Link to that page… so I had to spend time searching it. Then I say I want to enter my bank details and after three pages in their dialog it fails because apparently it thinks it already has my bank details… well… no… I believe this error is due me not having registered my bahncard, so I tried to register my bahncard but it requires a pin code that they will now send me by snail mail…
Why do companies always hire the most crappy web porgrammers on this planet? Why do they invest more money to make stuff go wrong, than to just make it work. Another example is the train search and going back… if they would use a Web Framework like Seaside it would remember my source and destination, my bahncard details.. etc. Why is bahn.de paying for a bad website? Maybe they should hire experts, it can’t be more expensive than these companies hiring idiots….
More on bad webservices

More on bad webservices

I am using postfix on my server and it has the nice feature that it can move mails with +something at the end into a folder I want. This allows me to see who is selling my email address to which company and such. Now the downside is that many forms of webapps claim that my email address is not valid.

So today I was over at finanzen.net to try to register a new account and instead of telling me that they do not like my valid email address, they say the user name was already taken. I tried with many usernames (coming from pwgen) and all the same, it just started to work when removing the ‘+’ from the username…
Now I tried to use their contact form to tell them that I would like to use their service but they have hired a company that has no clue about web programming… well it is ofcourse broken too…
It is 2010, there are so many good web frameworks around, why are proprietary webapps still so bad? Who is writing all that crap?
Anti-Pattern 23 – Make sure to not get feedback

Anti-Pattern 23 – Make sure to not get feedback

  1. Create a website to compete with an established one.
  2. Make something bad like handling cursor/space keys in the side and alienating people using keys to navigate.
  3. Create the impression one can give input, place a feedback button.
  4. Use a form, allow the user to enter text.
  5. Make sure the submit is not just a simple submit but make it go through javascript so you can reference variables that do not exist
If you follow these steps, you are guranteed to burn money, lose busines and you will not get feedback from your customers.
How to make sure your online business is failing and ways to fix it.

How to make sure your online business is failing and ways to fix it.

This is a more calm rant of a post I have done earlier today and removed. Everytime I have to use a proprietary online shop to buy something the thing is just of very poor quality. One example of last year is Best Western, their bookingsystem was so bad, I had to book the Room through Yahoo Travel.

So here is my top six of how you can make sure your online is failing (and how to fix it):
  1. Make sure your webpage only works with Flash, Internet Explorer 5 with the right locale, a Java plugin to enter the CVC number of your credit card… It is not that JQuery or website testing frameworks like Selenium needs to be invented…
  2. Make sure the user experience is bad, try to nest the content in as many frames as possible, make sure the user needs to scroll with at least two scrollbars. The easy solution is, test your content with 1024×768 and don’t use frames…
  3. Provide options on your purchase and then send long, very long boilerplate emails that the user needs to call your expensive hotline to pick another option. Provide fewer options, make sure the payment process is working for them, or use another good company for the payment.
  4. Provide wrong errors codes. E.g. when a flight is fully booked, claim the credit card number or the postal address is wrong. Blame it on the credit card company, it is easy, unless the customer calls the credit card company…
  5. Let the user enter his address multiple times, insist that he must have a landline number…
  6. Have a hobby programmer decide that + is not a valid part of an email address…
People should have stayed with Typewriters… or why DHL sucks

People should have stayed with Typewriters… or why DHL sucks

Todays epic fail of DHL. When shipping a package you will have to leave a phone number to DHL. My dear reader, don’t worry, this phone number will never be used to call the receiver of the package in case of an error.

So today I was checking the website where the package is and I’m supposed to call the DHL customer service. And in all glory of the internet and HTML they are not able to embed a link to the customer service package, in case there is no useful link on the tracking page.

Using my geek power I made a google query for “MyCountry dhl customer service”. After loading of a java applet, and then selecting my country again, I’m on a page to show me the phone number of my local customer service. Oh my dear reader, if you think the odysee stops here you are wrong… The number on this page triggers a voice message that I can call this other number, this other number gives me another number, and this others number number gives me a number to a private person…

DHL… how hard can it be to have a working and DHL Customer Service phone number…